Friday, June 27, 2008

Rain rain, don't go away. Come anytime you'd like...

Lord, thank you for -
Well, I was going to say "Thank you for the storm you've given me to enjoy" while I was sitting outside in the midst of it. I was told to stay inside, however, and was interrupted from my desire to praise you for the storm. And looking out through a window just doesn't quite do it for me. I love your thunder and rain. You are so beautiful, God. I know you give us sense enough not to do this, but I would love to be laying face up in the middle of the field right now with your water and lightning surrounding my body. Why do I feel as though it would cause me to feel you more-so than inside a dim-lit room, trapped behind a glass barrier that is doing an oh-so-wonderful job of separating me from your storm? I'm watching your water drops splash onto the wooden table, wishing I were feeling them for myself. Oh, how I'd love to be that wood about now. How do you make the dullest of colors seem so alive and appealing? It isn't yet four o'clock though it looks nearly evening. Why does it then have more appeal than the beautiful sunshine I witnessed hours ago? What I would give for your rain right now. Take me away, Father. I worship you.

James, I'm well on my way to knowing you completely. Only two little verses left to memorize of your first chapter. I'm thrilled to begin your second.

My quiet time this morning told me that I am not my own. Nothing I have is mine, my body is my God's. Savior now owns me, He's bought me with His blood. I thought about this quite a bit. Since I am His own, I must act accordingly. I read about the new man, and what it is to have Christ-like characteristics. My prayer this morning and throughout the day was that my God would humble me and use me today to shine His light. I begged to be that "city on a hill" and to portray Christ through everything I did. I found enjoyment in opening doors for others, smiling at strangers, letting cars out of the parking lots (even with an open green light). With a generous graduation gift of a Family Christian Store gift card, I found pleasure and excitement in using it to buy a gift for someone else, rather than myself. I got into the car after making the purchase, feeling so fulfilled and content in what I had just bought. This is far from the norm when I tend to walk out with two new CDs and a book of some sort for myself, and the regret of spending money that I really didn't need to be spending. I'm not saying these things to brag on myself or glorify my own good deeds. Because without Christ through me I could never be so selfless. In my own flesh, I gratify my own desires, my own wants. I give myself whatever I want with the money I often claim as my own. This is wrong thinking; however, most of the time, it is my mindset. I love that Jesus answers willing prayers. I'd like to wonder what my day would have been like, how it would have played out if I hadn't of prayed for the characteristics of the new man; of Jesus Christ Himself. Would I have selfishly done everything to make myself happy? Sure I would have, because that's how it tends to go almost daily.

The devotional asked me this morning about all of the things I've done in the past week for myself, for selfish desires. The sins that I've committed and kept; I could list so many.

Then, it asked about all of the things I had done in the past week for others, in light of the character of Jesus; I could list one.

This showed a need for change, and a need for it fast. I'm in desperate need of Father's heart. I need to be broken for the things that God is broken over. I need to enjoy what He enjoys, and find filthy what He finds filthy. I need to die to myself, that Christ may live.

This is not easy work. As is most of what I'm expected to do as one of the Bride.

Patience; this is a toughie. More often than not we want to be impatient and quickly rush into anything we find appealing or hopeful. More often than not, God makes us wait...and wait...and wait...and wait. I'm not sure about you, but this tends to frustrate me so incredibly much. I find myself time and time again getting angry and upset with God because He seems to keep letting me down, making me wait around for things. He seems to drag time out and only give me the things I want after waiting for what seems like forever. But then I realized this;

How much do we make God wait? I mean, think about it. The sins, the backsliding, the going days on end without a quiet time or a sincere prayer. We keep God waiting (patiently, might I add) for the longest times for us to actually come to Him as we should. Think about a marriage. A wife decides not to speak, look at, or even acknowledge her loving husband for days on end. She then decides out of nowhere that she's going to love and cherish him as she did the day they married. This soon ends when other things in her own life get in the way of her relationship with her husband, and keep her preoccupied, forgetting him once again. This continues nearly all of their marriage. Some days she feels like being devoted. Some days, not so much. Sometimes she cheats, sometimes she's ashamed of him, sometimes she misses life before him. Yet he patiently waits on her, promising never to leave, to be there every time she comes running back to him.

Guess what, we're the wife. That's right. We are the very bride of Christ, and look at how we treat him so very often. We want him one minute, we want to give our lives to him; then we turn around and forget He even exists. We keep Him waiting, day after day after day until we come back home. Our waiting on things is nothing compared to the time we waste not allowing Christ to consume us completely.

Kind of changes my outlook on patience. Yeah?

All in all, I would say it was a wonderfully, pleasantly, fulfilling and reflective day. Full of God's love, His mercy, His grace, His assurance, and His beauty. He's teaching me so much, and I love learning.

I'm so wrapped up in you, Jesus. I pray that you will forever be my focus.

1 comment:

Joelseph said...

This blog makes me want to sing "This is my father's world."

Like we were saying earlier, some people tend to only notice God's beauty when there's a gorgeous sunset. But storms are just as much His beauty.

Good thoughts, Miss Kristi.