Monday, October 20, 2008

How I Love You





here i stand
before you my heart is still
wanting just to be with you
waiting here
long for your voice to speak
touch me now
its your face i seek

how my soul longs for you
to be with you
adore you
nothing more i want to do
than to sing to you

Jesus I'm in love with you
speak to me
whisper you words of truth
take my heart
won't you make me new
Jesus, how i love you
how i love you

on my knees
before you i lay my life
giving all
a living sacrifice
take my life
and all that i long to be
set apart
only for you my king

how my soul longs for you
to be with you
adore you
nothing more i want to do
than to sing to you

Jesus I'm in love with you
speak to me
whisper your words of truth
take my heart
won't you make me new
Jesus, how i love you
how i love you

how my soul longs for you
how my soul longs for you
how my soul longs for you
how my soul longs for you




I'm learning more and more every day how to rely, to to be satisfied. I almost hate using the term 'satisfied in Christ' because it seems to be so much more than that. There's more to it than just satisfaction. There's fulfillment, pleasure, joy, excitement, comfort, peace. But those words seem to fall short too. Sometimes I become so aggravated in prayer when I just cannot express to God how I feel. When I just cannot use words that measure up to my heart's expression. Every syllable falls short. I fall so short.

I want to live in a prayerful attitude today. Constant communication with the Lord, focus on Him alone. Daydreaming of Savior is the point I'd love to reach. Sometimes I try so hard to fall deeper in love with Him, it's just fake and I cannot do it. And then I think about the cross; and everything falls right into place in my heart. My soul just stirs and the beauty of my Savior's love flows so freely and abundantly, wrapping my heart and my very being. But He must first give me that glimpse, that insight. I cannot tell you how many times I've just conjured up this fake love for Jesus on my own, trying to push it deeper and deeper in of myself. I fail miserably, and it doesn't last very long. Then He shows me something, taking myself away completely, and opens up my eyes to the fact that I cannot even love God on my own. I can't do it. He has to help me, because I am so fallible, so prone to pride and so unable to love on my own. Apart from Him, in my flesh, in of myself, I can do nothing. I must be completely focused on Him, giving Him my eyes, my heart, and letting Him show me how to love Him. And when He does, it's the most beautiful and fulfilling love I could ever experience. The Savior's love.


I layed outside and gazed at His stars last night. I thanked Him for them. I realized that the God big enough to create the glory of the heavens is dwelling inside me, guiding my life with His hands. The same hands that formed this world are the hands that lead my steps. They're the hands that give me breath. The hands that are holding my very life. It was in that moment that I found most comfort in trusting in that same God to get me through every minute of trial life provides. He's big enough to provide the stars. He's even bigger to deliver me from everything unkind.


He also sent me a shooting star.

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