I'm sorry I've been ignoring you.
I'm screening my phone calls. And not returning texts. It isn't because I don't want to talk to my friends and family. I suppose I'm just worn out of talking about my situation. I think I'm so ready for this whole thing to be over, and yet I'm scared it's only beginning. Sure, my parents and I went out to dinner, and they've been giving me rides until I can have my car back. But we have yet to sit down and actually discuss everything. My mom never acts normal around me. She's basically crying every time I see her. My dad always seems way too chatty, as if he's trying to compensate for how he is really feeling. And I just wish I could skip it. I wish we could skip the awkward moments and all of the 'sadness' and tension. I wish things were completely normal and I could go about my life as if everything is fine.
I guess I'm just tired of the same old "How are you doing?" from everybody where I have to spill all about what's going on with me and my parents. I end up forgetting who I've told what to and it just gets old. I'm tired of talking about it. I'm tired of living it.
Then again, this is life. And I'm going to have to face big things. I can't just skip over the parts I don't like. Though I'd give anything to be able to.
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