Dave

I never could have thought I would ever feel this way again. The stomach butterflies, the ever increasing heart rate, the smiles and the feel good moments that make you believe everything bad in the world no longer exists. It's exactly how he makes me feel. And it's everything I've ever wanted.


I've been doing quite a bit of thinking, and I've come to the conclusion that I can no longer be judgemental of the relationships of other people and what they have or believe they have. My relationship with Dave has every right to be judged, because of the circumstances it developed in and considering how quickly it moved into comfortability and permanance. I've only known him for months and I'm still already prepared to spend the rest of my life with him. That isn't normal, and it isn't very smart.

...Then again, I never claimed to be very intelligent.

I'm completely wrapped up and I know I can't explain it, and I'd never want to escape it.



I never thought I'd live with someone before they had a ring on my finger and lifelong commitment to me. Then again after 19 years of being on this earth I've seen enough to know that a wedding band and some legal papers is no more of a commitment than what I currently have with Dave - only we're probably much happier than most couples that have those things. I swore I thought our living arrangements were only temporary, but what started as a temporary state of help turned into my first ever experience of being in love. And I couldn't let it go. I've believed to have been in love before. I've sworn up and down I've loved other guys in the past. I've told them, and professed it to others. Until you truly fall in love for the first time, and experience how different of a feeling it can be than everything you've ever imagined or seen in movies, and you realize that every devastating, make-you-cry-yourself-sick-or-to-sleep break up was completely worth it because it somehow led you to this one person that makes you happier than anybody should ever be allowed to make you. How laying in his arms is the best feeling you'll get all day, and the one thing you anxiously look forward to from the time you wake up in the morning. How all he has to do is look at you and you feel more loved than you've ever felt. How you could feel unattractive all day until you come home and he makes you feel like the most beautiful things he's ever layed on. You find yourself being happy only when he's happy. You find yourself remembering small things he notes throughout the day and noticing all of the little things he likes and doesn't like and accustoming yourself and your lifestyle to fit his needs and wants. To talk to him and know that he's actively listening to everything you say, and cares about it more than anybody else. I'm completely in love for the first time in my life, and with somebody I've known for only months.

I've had more people than not let me know that living together this soon is a terrible idea. I'm sure even more people than that have plenty to say about it behind my back. I don't care. I know it's not typically smart. I know it's not a very wise decision. But it isn't something I ever want to change. I want him to be the first thing I wake up to in the morning and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. I'm head over heels completely wrapped up in this other person, and to live with him, sleep beside him every night, and be the one person, out of the billions in this world, he chooses to come home to every day makes me the luckiest girl I know. It's beautiful, and it's now my life.


Nobody has to agree with us or believe that we'll make it. We don't need their approval. We know what we want and we know what we have and anybody with objection is only fueled by the jealousy in their hearts. I hated those couples before I met Dave, and it was only ever out of jealousy. so I understand it, and accept it. The only thing we have to worry about is us, and that in itself will eventually prove everybody wrong.

I'm happy. Truly, completely happy. and I believe that everything bad that has happened to me in the past few months, and all of the events leading up to all of it, led me to him. Had I never of broken out of my shell, moved out, and started this new life, I may have never met the one person I couldn't imagine a life without. And just imaging the possibility of things being so different makes me physically sick. If I could go back and change it all, I wouldn't. Because every bad thing was completely worth it.

We struggle a lot, and nothing is ever perfect. We bicker and fight on a pretty regular basis and he drives me crazier than almost anybody else. But he does more good for me than anything, and he makes me feel like the most special, prized woman on the planet. That isn't something you should ever give up should you find it. I understand that for a very long time I hated men with a burning passion that I couldn't even express. I wanted all men to know that they were all completely the same, and no matter how many people tried to tell me differently, I refused to listen and believe there was actually a good guy out there for me. After heartbreak after heartbreak, I couldn't allow myself to have any hope at all of something so incredible and amazing. I'm now coming to the conclusion that what they say is true; It will come when you least expect it. It did, and now I'll work every day of my life to keep it.

I'm just in love...