First Post of The New Year

When I love and care about another person, I want justice and punishment for anybody that does them wrong. When a guy hurts my best friend, I want to take him down. When one of my boyfriend's friends is being completely wrong towards him, I want to let them know how wrong they are. That's just how I am. If you hurt somebody I love or care about, I don't like you. I guess that's why it hurts me so much when people seemingly close to me don't care about it at all. When my ex roommate took everything from me this Summer, it destroyed me. It put me back months financially, left me out of a place to live, and continually put me in extreme dangerous situations on a regular basis. I will probably hate him for the rest of my life. I will probably forever want to let him know how scum I think he is for what he put me through. I guess I would just expect the same from all my friends and family. I guess I wouldn't expect to be too happy when my boss (at the time she was my boss) who "considered me like a daughter" to her wanted to give him a Christmas present to "cheer him up. " I guess when my "friends" don't express a mutual dislike for him and try to tell me I handled the situation wrong with him, I'm going to take offense. My boyfriend loves and adores me, and wants only the absolute best for me in my life. When he sees Ryan, his blood boils - and you can see it. He goes crazy with anger and the only thing in his eyes at that time is revenge. My parents both love me more than I can know, and both of them, given the chance, would probably take delight in giving him what he deserves. They feel this way because they love me and know what he put me through. If you're somebody I consider close, I would do anything in the world for you and I would demand revenge on anybody that caused pain and hurt in your life. Because I believe to be a friend, you have to show full support for you and anger about the things that hurt you. If you're going to talk down how I "handled" the situation or act as though what he did doesn't deserve the attempts I've made to make sure he gets his, you're not a true friend and I'm not interested in your "thoughts" and "opinions". Because the last thing I need is somebody I consider my friend telling me I'm wrong to feel hurt, destroyed, and have a desire to get even with somebody that tried to completely ruin my life.

I was just fired. I have too much to think about it. Dave and I have high hope to move to Orlando in the fall. He could work at one of the numerous resorts and banquet centers at Disney, and I could have so many freelance makeup artistry opportunities there as well. There is so much more for us in Orlando than there is in Gainesville. We have nothing here. We want success. We want a future. And we're going to take it. When Orlando was discussed, we'd decided it'd be sometime in the fall, 8 months from now, that we would move. When my boss caught wind, she fired me immediately because of my plans to leave. I'm now jobless, and completely without the resources I need to continue the makeup artistry career I just spent time, effort, and money promoting for. If it weren't for Dave, I'd be a mess.

I only have one life to live. I don't get so much time to do the things I want. If I want success in the future, I have to start now. Sure, I could find a full time office job making $10 an hour with benefits. But in ten years I'll be still stuck at that boring, suffocating office job wishing I had done more with my life and taken more chances. I'm growing up, and learning as I go. I can't guarantee all my dreams will come true in Orlando. But they sure won't come true here. I have to make a path for myself and work hard to get to the end. I know I can, and with the help and support of my amazing boyfriend, we could create a beautiful life together in Orlando. Especially before we settle down and get married and have children. I'm excited for what the future brings.

There's so much to get done, and so many things to think about. Praying one of these jobs comes through and I get out of this unemployment rut immediately. I know it will all work out, and I know I'll have this nice life with all these nice things and no struggles, I just don't know how long it will take.

New Years was great, and I'm stoked to start 2011. I feel big things will happen this year. Dave quit smoking, and so far is doing phenomenal. I am so very proud of him. My resolution? To move to Orlando and establish myself there successfully. It will happen, because I'm going to make it happen. Happy 2011, Friends!